Article #880

When you are used to being together all the time it can be weird to suddenly have to be apart for days on end. There are upsides and there are downsides to being apart for a short period of time.

Recently my husband got hired at a job that is about an hour and a half away from our home. He is getting all of his gas, hotel, and food expenses covered on his work days, so we decided it just makes sense not to drive the 3 hours everyday to work and home. This was supposed to be a fun thing for us because I work from home and could go with him, but it turned out that our oldest dog has increased her incontinence and is not able to stay at the hotel or her ‘grandparents’ to be babysat. So I have to stay with her.

At first I was jealous. Believe it or not we enjoy staying in hotels for long stretches. We have quite a large house but both of us our more comfortable in apartment sized places. We enjoy room service, free breakfast, and all the other perks of hotels. We also normally stay in hotels that have gyms that make our downstairs treadmill jealous. But after getting over my jealousy I realized a few other things.

The Upside of Being Apart

There really is some positives to being apart. One such positive is being aware about how much we mean to each other. We never really thought about the comfort and happiness that being together every day brings us. We enjoy each others company and we get excited about our evening together watching TV, playing games, or just talking, but we don’t really appreciate it. When we realized we would have to be apart for a few days a week we suddenly missed it and each other.

I relate this to the feeling we had when we were dating. We didn’t get to be together every day during that period and we were always excited for our dates or our nights together. I think this excitement is one of the things that creates the desire, or ‘need’, to be together all the time, and ultimately it is what causes two people to move in together to conquer that need.

So now when we get to be together we appreciate our time together about 500 percent more! Our kisses feel more real, our hugs more bonding, and – well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination! The point is that we appreciate each other much more than we did then we were together all the time and I hope that appreciation lasts long after we get to be together every day again.

The Downside of Being Apart

For us there are a few reasons that we don’t enjoy being apart. We are not the type of couple that enjoys distance in our relationship and this would never turn out to be a long term situation. In fact, it probably won’t last past a few months.

A few of the negatives of being apart are:

Sleeping Alone – This is a downside when you are used to being cuddled and having someone else’s energy there beside you. Plus I’m scared very easily and I find that many nights I have to leave the night-light on even though I have two little dogs sleeping with me.

A Sense of Not Being as Close in The Relationship – For us, feeling really close to each other means being close to each other, not over the phone or Skype but in person – face to face. Many people can be in a committed relationship and feel close but not have to see each other all the time; but we are definitely not those people.

No Instant Date Nights – Like I said we love our time together and because we have no kids so we can easily decide to go out for supper or a movie or even a walk. Now, we don’t have the luxury of hanging out together that easily.

So our time apart is not the worst thing in the world as it gives us a new appreciation of each other when we are together, but in the end it would never work out long-term because we wouldn’t feel like we were in an intimate relationship if we were constantly apart.

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