Article #876

Author: J. T. Cane

Taking a break from a relationship can happen even when the two of you really love each other. Sometimes, a break is a good idea. A break can end up strengthening your relationship. Sometimes we just need space and a lot of things can lead to these feelings. Unfortunately stress in a relationship can be misinterpreted as incompatibility. The two of you may be in a rut and just unhappy with the going-ons in your lives. And what may ensue are arguments about nothing.

The key to staying together or permanently splitting up is using your time wisely while you are away from each other. It is also important to state the guidelines upfront before the break begins, such as “Are there options to date other people?” Or “Do I need to tell you if I am going to date someone?”

Stepping aside and regrouping can be extremely beneficial if you feel both of you keep repeating the same behaviors over and over again, for example nit-picking, focusing on the negative more than the positive, arguments about nothing, etc. It may be time to step outside of your coexistence to reconnect to your true self.

If you are meant to be together, this is a great opportunity to let your hearts grow fonder. It can be a wonderful feeling to actually miss your other half. The idea is to calm down and get yourselves together individually before you can do so mutually. Time and distance have been known to refuel the love in relationships.

If how you were doing what you were doing in the past wasn’t working, learning more about your partner can be invaluable for a healthy relationship. Sometimes if we fall deeply into our other half, we may inevitably lose touch with our own identity. It can also be a time to review if you and your partner still have mutual interests in common. It can also be a time to reflect on what you really want in the relationship or even in life. You may think about if you want a long term commitment. This time can also help you to reevaluate your priorities. Use the time to return to your partner with a fresh perspective. Revisit you, your expectations, desires and dreams. This will allow you to bring more to the table as far as your relationship goes.

When your loved one is not next to you for a while it can show you what it is that you’re missing about them. A trial separation is a very brave thing to do. It is a true test if both of you are willing to do what is best for the relationship and each other. It is a mature move if you are willing to accept whatever the outcome may be, however knowing you still care deeply about one another. If you are in love, you will inevitably be together enjoying each other because of how uniquely each of you fits into each other’s lives.

The real test is when you begin to realize the difficulty in not playing with her hair, missing the smell of his skin or cuddling while watching your favorite shows together. Not to sound like a cliché, but if you are meant to be you will both want to end the separation together.

Good luck! Love can be a heavenly experience!

About the Author

For over 15 years, John Cane has helped over 100,000 individuals in areas of Self Improvement. John is a Life Coach, motivational speaker and writer who develops and implements confidence and self-esteem workshops in Baltimore, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia. With a background in Psychology, he has six certifications in Personal Growth and Development. His Journal Books, ‘Important Things I Remember from My Parents’ are used in schools and as an aid for adults in gaining strength in self identity in the United States and Europe.

John Cane is the founder of Edge Advantage, Inc. Edge Advantage (www.seetheobvious.com) is a personal development organization dedicated to research-based, practical psychology training. Our focus is on communication, individual performance, and reducing stress. The objective of John’s websites is to bring the most current developments from these areas to those who use them everyday, educating in a form that is clear and practical. John is the webmaster of Self Help Guides Online (.com) and See the Obvious (.com). He is currently pursuing his Graduate Degree in Psychology & Interdisciplinary Inquiry at Saybrook University, Oakland, California. His specialization, Psychology of Creativity Studies focuses on a growth-oriented perspective emphasizing human potential, intended to broaden an in-depth understanding of the everyday creativity every individual possesses.