by: Andy Sullivan

Decision making and change! An agent of change is someone who understands the importance of change to create a happy vibrant life.

An agent of change is someone who is happy to constantly adapt and shift their approach to a problem to get a solution. An agent of change is someone who has the ability to counter any negative thoughts with new and improved ways of thinking. If you want to be an agent of change, you must become comfortable with yourself as an all thinking all changing being.

Becoming comfortable with yourself is essential for adapting to change and countering the negative aspects of life. You need to be able to forgive yourself for the mistakes, while learning enough to get something out of the experience. Every challenge you overcome results in you adapting, changing and growing. We are all part of a process of change and more change. A mature attitude to change is desirable for personal success.

The agent of change has to start with an honest appraisal of themselves as a person. At the very start you should ask yourself what your strengths and weaknesses are. The agent of change is honest about everything that they see. Try to become more than just an ordinary person. The agent of change accepts no limitations in their life. To become an agent of change is your mission, do you accept it?

If you have ever behaved in an immoral or antisocial manner, you have probably spent some time reflecting on what you did. The bad things we are all prone to doing from time to time can affect the view of our own self image. Accepting yourself does not mean accepting the negative behaviour and continuing to do it. On the contrary, accepting yourself involves accepting when you need to change. Accepting yourself makes you more likely to learn from your mistakes and act in a constructive way.

The key is to become constructive not destructive in your approach to change. In order to overcome destructive or socially unacceptable behaviours , you need to do the following:

Take personal responsibility for your bad behaviour. Rather than deciding you are just a bad person who has not control or responsibility for your actions, accept that you are doing something bad. As an agent of change it is up to you to take ultimate responsibility for your actions. You are less likely to start blaming others for your misfortune, and will look instead to positive action.

If you are willing to work hard and practice on your new skills, you will find it easier to accept yourself for who you are. Integrating self-acceptance into your life should be a daily process. Most people feel the way they think. If you think unhappy thoughts you will tend to feel unhappy and vice-versa. Meaning is attached to the names you call yourself. If you use abusive or harsh language to describe yourself all the time, then you are heading towards feeling very emotionally unhappy.

The more times you tell yourself something, the more likely you are to believe it. Fortunately, you can choose what messages you give yourself and, therefore, choose how you think and feel about yourself. The trick to remember is to give up on all encompassing negative labels. People often call themselves losers, idiots, good for nothings, simpletons, or imbeciles because of certain events or actions they have been involved in or done. This does not get to the heart of the problem and is very self-destructive.

Resisting self-abusive language means stopping with negative labeling and name calling.

Remember to identify the areas that you need to change in and be specific. For example: John has two definite serious problems. First, he has an addiction and second he is stealing to support this addiction. Standing in between of these two bad behaviours stands shame and self-condemnation . If John can’t get over these two emotions, he can’t begin to tackle the vicious circle that his life has turned into. To move on in life in a way that contributes to the kind of world you would like to live in, assume personal responsibility and keep working hard on self-acceptance.

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