Article #560

Author: Gillian Reynolds

One thing you never want to hear yourself saying in your relationship is, “he thinks I’m controlling.” It’s embarrassing when the man you’re crazy about says this to you. You feel self conscious and you immediately worry that it means that he’s going to dump you because of it. You start to worry about each and every thing you do or say when you’re around him. It’s a horrible position to be in but there is a way to deal with it and keep your relationship together.

If your man thinks you’re controlling you have to accept that. It’s very easy to feel hurt when a man says something like this to you and for that hurt to overtake everything else. You can’t see that he may have a point because right now all you can see is that the man you love is being critical and hurtful. Most men aren’t going to throw a comment like this out there unless it’s based in fact. He is feeling that you’re trying to control him or the relationship and he’s found the courage to tell you. It’s important that you learn from that and make some positive changes to save your relationship.

Apologize to him for your behavior. Yes, it feels as though he’s the one who hurt you but the fact that you’re controlling is actually hurting him and your bond with him. Tell him that you genuinely weren’t aware that you were making him feel the way he’s been feeling and also express to him that it’s important to you that you work together to change that. Try to be mature and calm as you have this conversation with him. It’s essential that he feels that you’re really being sincere in your desire to make him feel less like you’re trying to control him and more like you’re interested in being equal partners.

The next step is arguably the most important. You need to change. You have to honestly consider what you’ve been doing in the relationship and then work on making positive improvements. Some of us become controlling out of fear. We’re so worried that our man will wander off into the arms of another woman that we let our jealousy control us. We start to control him by making decisions for him and monopolizing his time. If that’s what has been happening in your relationship you need to change that beginning now and put more trust in the connection you both feel.

It does take effort to shift a man’s opinion of you if he views you as controlling but it certainly can be done. Focus each day on showing him that you’re working on becoming a better partner for him. He’ll love you more for putting in the effort for him.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/he-thinks-im-controlling-what-to-do-if-your-man-views-you-this-way-4301844.html

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