Author: Roxanne Emmerich

Ah, whiners. Whiners have the capacity to suck possibilities out of a situation faster than Count Dracula can grab a quick snack.

Instead of telling you what can be done, whiners spend hours vividly outlining what can’t be done, and why. Had whiners ruled the world, we’d still be sitting in our caves, huddled around the fire complaining we can’t find the remote control.

Joe, who is perceived by his teammates as the been-here-too long programmer, who hasn’t had a joyful day in over a decade, comments, “Our customers are so dumb they can’t figure out how to use our systems on their own.” Instead, he could advance the situation by saying something like, “We need to do a better job of helping our clients adapt to our systems once we finish our installations. I’d suggest we offer them an online manual.”

How helpful is THAT to criticize without a solution? It’s maybe as constructive as buying a box of caramels for a friend who complained about having a loose filling.

But then, whiners aren’t trying to be helpful. It’s not their nature to help. Whiners are first cousins of the victim types. They’re better at finding fault than figuring out a solution.

Whining is an attempt to “one- up” others by dismissing all possibilities before anyone has a chance to make a suggestion. Oddly enough, while a whiner’s statement may sound definite, the bluster is actually born of insecurity. While they have enough mental sharpness to point out problems, they don’t have enough confidence to work at resolving them.

Many people who grow up to be whiners learned early in life that they could get more attention by voicing a complaint than by trying to correct a situation.

There isn’t much room for someone like that in a workplace where team members want to “rock,” or in an office where everyone is willing to carry their weight and then some.

Of course, this is not to say there will never be any whining again, ever. Sometimes it goes with the human condition.

And if we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we’ve ALL had our moments of whining. I certainly had my day in the sun as a primo whiner, how about you? We all have our occasional pity parties or bouts of attention seeking.

There’s a possibility that even after this moment of enlightenment, we could (God forbid!) revert. Despite our knowing how whining can negatively impact others and render us ineffective, there’s a remote chance we might once again choose to grab for that taste of whine. We’re only human.

While the ugly truth is that there’s nothing attractive about whining, the beauty is in knowing there are ways to prevent and avoid the condition.

Here’s my favorite: ask your family, friends, and coworkers to give you a signal the next time you start to whine, moan, or groan. Ask them to make a W with three fingers as a reminder to stop whining and start creating a solution.

When you get the sign…stop IMMEDIATELY and laugh at yourself for having had a “moment”. Remind yourself how good it feels to figure out what you can and will do about a challenging situation instead of simply letting yourself circle the drain.

Bold moves for whittling away at whining in your office:

• Decide as a group to support teamwork by flashing a friendly “W” the second someone starts fumbling around for the whine. Let it become a safe tradition—don’t forget to smile as you give it.

• When you’re at the receiving end of the sign, don’t even think about finishing your sentence. You’ve been busted. Switch from whining to reflecting on what you can do to address the “opportunity” and ask your teammates to kick in their ideas, too.

Once you create a no whining zone in your workplace, you won’t ever want to go back.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/team-building-articles/the-no-whining-zone-3642630.html

About the Author

Roxanne Emmerich’s Thank God It’s Monday!—How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal and #1 Amazon bestseller. Roxanne is renowned for her ability to transform “ho-hum” workplaces into dynamic, results-oriented, “bring-it-on” cultures in a day. Listen to the free 60-second audio with teammates each Monday to clean up the craziness in your workplace and focus on getting massive results. Sign up today at www.thankgoditsmonday.com or call 952-820-0360.