by: Ruth Purple

Whoever said that breaking up is easy must be on crack. Of course it’s never easy, but it’s one of the inevitable things in life that any relationship has to go through. Everyday people change, as well as circumstances, needs, and feelings. This is but normal, for there are relationships that are built to last, while there are those that can only go on for so long.

Some couples are rational and happy enough to agree and part ways amicably, but sometimes people can be rather obstinate. Breakups have a tendency to become nasty when the other half insist on keeping things going by manipulating the feelings of the other. A controlling partner often has quite a number of tricks up his/her sleeve in averting a looming separation.

One method this person usually makes use of to manipulate the other person’s emotions is through fear. A lot of times the controlling partner would scare the other by threatening suicide every time the issue of breakup comes up. Sure, this will make it hard for the person who wants out to leave, because he/she is scared of what the partner might do after the separation.

By not letting the person go easily, the controlling partner makes it easy for the other person to despise him/her because of being miserable in the relationship. A lot of people find themselves stuck in this particular situation, when they become more concerned for their partner’s feelings rather than their own.

Manipulative people tap into the fears of their partner by doing something stupid, thus finding a way to keep him/her in the relationship. However, it rarely revolves things for the better, because it would only turn the victimized person’s feelings against the manipulative partner, thus adding further tension between them.

It may keep the relationship together for quite some time, but it will eventually disintegrate when the other person finally has had enough and decides to leave no matter what. Indeed, breaking up is hard—throw in a controlling partner in the mix and the situation becomes an almost impossible feat.

But, it hardly means that it’s okay to be manipulated into staying, even if the relationship has already become suffocating. It is very important to take responsibility for one’s own feelings—that means walking away when you have to, and not a moment later, even with the other person’s attempt to control you.

However, do warn somebody of your decision to split. Some people who are faced with emotional blackmail often delay their departure for fears that something bad might happen to the person they are leaving. If this is the case then tell a mutual friend that you’re going away, so that he/she can be there just in case anything comes up.

Don’t hesitate to be upfront about your decision when you get the chance. Most of these couples often have conflicts that can blow up rather quickly, and for a lot it can be a blessing in disguise—a chance for them to finally walk out of the relationship. Make things crystal clear to your partner: it’s better to be honest than to just walk away without warning.

Once you’ve done this, be resolute with the decision. There will be times that one might give in when the partner starts to beg. Be strong, or else you’ll only find yourself back at square one –again.

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