Articles in Self Esteem
Lack of “emotional safety” is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being.
Yet another person sitting in my office, trying to explain why his marriage was doomed for failure, and his “new love” was right!
We hear so often, “Don’t take it personally.” What does this really mean? The answer is NOT simple!
Do you love it when you feel deeply emotionally connected with someone? When you feel seen, understood, valued and cherished? This is what initially draws two people together and leads to falling in love. Then what happens? Why does the connection go away?
When we were growing up, we experienced many life situations that caused us deep heartbreak. Any time we lost someone we loved, or we were yelled at, ridiculed, shamed, ignored, not seen or connected with, physically or sexually abused, or treated in any other unloving ways, our little hearts broke. But we could not manage this intense heartbreak, so we had to learn various addictive ways of managing the feeling.
My definition of emotional freedom is being free from feeling like a victim of and controlled by our emotions. We are emotionally free when we know how to learn from and manage our feelings so that we are not reactive to them and they don’t control us.
What creates your misery? Junk! What kind of junk?
* Junk thoughts
* Junk Food
* Junk drugs
My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, “Why didn’t you speak up for yourself?” here are the most common answers I receive.
Do you believe that being “perfect” gives you control over how people feel about you?”
If you do, then you are coming from 3 big false beliefs that are causing you much unhappiness.
