Do Humans Seek and Create Meaning (Part 4)?
November 11, 2016 – 4:29 pm | No Comment

Article #918
It is through our perception and connection with all life that we can experience meaning and have a fulfilling life.

Read the full story »
Confidence Building

Articles to help you learn to build and keep genuine self confidence.

Motivation

Articles that will help you motivate yourself and others.

Getting Organized

Articles that will help to organize and bring order to our chaotic lives.

Boosting Creativity

Articles and tips that will help you boost and improve your personal creativity.

Inspirational

Articles to help inspire you each and everyday.

Home » Decision Making, Featured, Goal Setting, Headline, Inspirational, Motivation, Problem Solving

How to Forgive

Submitted by on April 15, 2012 – 11:44 pmNo Comment

Author: Michelle Beaudry

The past cannot be undone. What you change is how you feel about it.

Make The Change Happen

How are you going to do it, my friend? You’re all done feeling wretched all the time, you know forgive does not mean forget, you are soooo ready, but you need a plan. Read on, my friend, and find out how to get the benefits of forgiveness for yourself. Right now.

Guilt and Hatred Are Killers

Ask any doctor. Stress is a killer. This is because your body and mind are a continuum. In other words, although they are not entirely the same, a great overlap exists that unites them. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness. Guilt and hatred resolve nothing; they just sustain the negativity that continues to obstruct you from your goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to an unhappy past.

Does It Work?

Absolutely – for you. Since the forgiveness experience will happen only for you, only you will receive its benefits. Your forgiveness may not influence a change in the behavior of others one bit. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. Forgiveness is about generating your own healing. You are the only player in your life over whom you have all the power. It’s time to exercise your personal power, your right to choose to feel better about who you are, your right to process your past and move on with your life.

It’s a Private Thing

Since forgiving is all about you getting your own heart clear, it’s best done in the privacy of your own mind. Afterwards you’ll have the choice of telling others, if you like, but initially the process works best in solitude. Tell no one, just do the work. And watch how easy it is to feel better all day every day. Contrast this to the fact that all the pity parties in the world with your friends and relatives never made you feel better one bit. Those tactics don’t work because they don’t process emotions, they merely create a feedback loop that deepens the groove of the pain. Since you know that what you used to do didn’t work, it’s time to do what does.

Forgive in Steps

Like a pyramid, forgiveness may seem overwhelming at first, but it’s easily accomplished step by step. So begin by recognizing that there are three sections:

.forgiveness of others

.self-forgiveness

.receiving forgiveness from others

And these can be further broken down into nicely manageable chunks.

Forgiveness of Others

When you forgive others in categories, it proceeds more easily. For example, you could choose to use the categories of Strangers, Friends, Family, The People who Hurt You The Most, and Anybody Else. You may include additional categories like Exlovers, Neighbors, Coworkers, Employees, etc., and some forgivers need to add the category of Humanity Itself. And you can start with the categories you find easiest. Once you notice how good it feels to forgive, this will inspire you to forgive everyone as much as possible, as fully as you can.

Self Forgiveness

In this step, start with your earliest years and ascend: Newborn, three year old, five year old, ten year old, teenager, 20s, etc., and on up to your current age, forgiving yourself thoroughly for absolutely everything as you go. Once you get to your current age, forgive yourself for your whole life. Remember, all humans are flawed. No one is a perfect son or daughter, man or woman, husband or wife, student or teacher, worker or boss. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Forgiveness is an optimal method to process your learnings.

Receiving Forgiveness from Others

In the privacy of your own mind, visualize then apologize to folks you’ve wronged, and let them accept your apology. It may surprise you to learn that others really want to forgive you. They do. So let them forgive you and receive the cleansing of that forgiveness. Afterwards, with some people, you may elect to actually apologize to them in person, but proceed carefully. There are a few folks in the world who can not accept apologies in real life, and this is why you process all of your apologies in your mind’s eye thoroughly first, so that you get the emotional benefit of having apologized whether those apologies get accepted in real life or not.

Forgive by Percentages in Repeated Attempts

Can you forgive the people who hurt you the most 10%? 20%? 80%? 99.9%? It’s not all or nothing. Ease on up to higher and higher percentages, always aiming for 100% forgiveness, but being real with yourself. If the people who hurt you the most are not 100% forgiveable on your first attempt, continue forgiving them bit by bit till you get as close to full forgiveness as possible. Start with a realistic percentage, then increase your forgiveness on subsequent attempts, always aiming for 100%. Just do your best.

Forgiving People Versus Events

It can be one thing to forgive individual people, and can yet be quite another thing to forgive the things those people did. What to do? Forgive the events and actions as they come to mind. As you think of instance after instance, forgive everyone involved as best you can for everything that happened.

Is There An Easier Way?

Yes, there is an easier way. “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD takes you through all the steps in under an hour. Using emotive visualization, you’ll be able to have the full forgiveness experience privately, in your own time, in your own home. You are unique, and may find that some steps in the “Forgiveness Pyramid” require repeated listenings for full relief. And full relief is what you want.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/how-to-forgive-193923.html

About the Author

Michelle Beaudry, board certified hypnotist, lives in Central Florida, and takes clients by phone from all over the world. She wrote and narrated “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD. Contact her at info@beaudryhypnosis.com

http://www.beaudryhypnosis.com

Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.

Leave us a suggestion for articles you would like to see. We will do our best to suit your needs! Did this information help? I hope so. Change can be difficult sometimes. Like I always say in my workshops, It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it because you’re worth it! Donations fund Self Esteem Workshops for teens, supply books to schools for the continual support of character education across America, and are tax deductable. Thank you from Self Help Guides!