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Home » Behavior, Featured, Headline, Managing Emotions, Problem Solving

Resentment: 5 Steps to Transform This Nasty Bugger

Submitted by on May 29, 2013 – 12:21 amNo Comment


Author: Valery Satterwhite

There’s a nasty little – or not so little – bugger stinking up your inner works. Its what keeps you stuck in simmering angst. Sometimes you can’t keep it down. It explodes louder and larger than the fireworks off a NYC pier in prime time. Its fire rains back down on you and those around you. There’s a name for this gnarly leech: Resentment.

It sucks. It sucks the life energy right out of you.

Resentment’s bitterness and anger threatens to turn you into a flaming rage-oholic if you can’t get a grip on it long enough to release its poison. You’ve already learned bitching, complaining and blaming doesn’t work. Revenge will get you nowhere fast.

So you’re stuck. Smack dab in What The “Rhymes With Truck”.

Resentment places you as the victim of your circumstance. And you weren’t born to be a victim. Victims just create more victim experiences. It’s the person who can’t get out of his or her own way. Know anyone like that?

Resentment is a cry out for relief from holding onto anger. It’s the innate spirited part of you begging you to let go of the past and go ahead with living, thriving. Resentment is a wake up call to stop spending so much time bitterly thinking about how bad we were treated – or at least think we were treated.

Yes, the hidden truth is much of what we resent isn’t real. Something happened and we added a lot of our own meanings and interpretations until we placed ourselves in a spiraling storm of poo.

So if you’re going to park yourself on the resentment pot really stink up the place. By yourself, please. No sense fouling anyone else’s air. When you’re emotionally depleted and tired of being made at whomever or whatever, flush.

Get up, pull yourself together and find a way to forgiveness. That’s the only thing that will Lysol the air – inner and outer. Look at the situation from another perspective.

You know what’s true for you. What else could be true? What are you having all this negativity mean? Is all of that true? Absolutely?

Even if what you resent is an affront to your very being you can still find a path to forgiveness. How? By understanding the human condition. We all make mistakes. And we all do the best we can given the light we have to see.

Yeah, I know. Some people are the quintessential scumbag. Such people are missing a few batteries in their flashlight. Others are in complete darkness bumping into walls, destroying everything in their path. Yet still, they are misguidedly doing the best they can.

With that, you can forgive the person and move on. This doesn’t mean you’ve condoned the act. Forgiveness is about the person, not the deed. To let the event continue to shackle you and drown you in angst does yourself a disservice.

And why would you continue to add insult to your own injury?

If you discover that you’re harboring resentment do yourself a favor. Transform it with these steps.

1. Acknowledge – articulate what you’re feeling. Notice its presence within you. Feel it fully.
2. Process – release stuck resentful inner energy. Journalling is a good way to express and release toxic negativity.
3. Transform – reach for a newer and better perspective.
4. Forgive – with compassion and understanding, forgive the person or thing you resent, even if you abhor the act.                                                                                                                    5. Move on – stay focused on the here and now instead of past events.

Remember, you are doing this to serve yourself. It’s not about the other person or circumstance that triggered your resentment. Give yourself a profound gift by transforming resentment into contentment. Your toxic-free life will thank you.

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About the Author

Author, Coach & Speaker Valery teaches people to trade in ineffective routines & rituals for newly designed strategies to live a fulfilled, meaningful life and make a profound impact from the inside out. She offers private, exclusive, confidential concierge level of service for her elite clientele. Free eBook SCREW Coping, LIVE!

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