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Home » Confidence Building, Decision Making, Featured, Happiness, Headline, Identity, Managing Emotions, Relationships, Self Esteem

How to Increase Will Power – Learn to Say No

Submitted by on June 10, 2013 – 11:49 pmNo Comment

Do whats right E.R.images

Author: Trevor Johnson

How many times have you found yourself saying yes when what you really wanted to say was no. If you find yourself doing this more often than not then you can learn to say no by applying the following tips…

1. Understand That You Don’t Need People’s Endorsement To Be Yourself

Many people find it difficult to say no simply because they are afraid to lose the acceptance of people around them. But you just have to understand that folks who accept you because you always say yes to them are not really worth having as friends or acquaintances.

Real friends will accept you for who you are. True friends are attracted to you because you share similar values. Any relationship that is dependent on pleasing one party is doomed from the very beginning.

2. Understand That You Simply Can’t Please Everybody

Some people will consider you to be a weakling if they find you to be a “yes” person. Such people prefer friends who can tell them how they really feel. Some people will love you for one thing while others will dislike you for that very same thing.

What’s my point? It’s simple: You can’t please everyone around you. You just have to make up your mind about this or you will have a very difficult life.

3. Understand That It Sometimes Takes True Love To Say No

What would happen if you “lovingly” gave your child a bottle of lethal poison just because you couldn’t afford to see him shed tears? He would die in spite of the fact that your action was because you love him. So love is never an excuse to always say yes.

Sometimes you have to show tough love and then you’d have to say no just because you love them.

4. Understand That It’s OK To Love Your Neighbor As Yourself And Not More

Many people would quote the golden rule as their reason for always saying yes. If you are one of such people, you need to understand that you are doing great if you treat them the way you won’t mind being treated.

You will know, for example, that people need some quality time with their family if you are a sensible person. And so if someone wants to encroach into that valuable period, you should feel good about saying no to them.

5. Understand The Difference Between Saying No To A Person And Rejecting Them

Some people simply feel rejected when they get no for an answer. Such people will likely feel that their no to someone else’s request amounts to rejection. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

You say no because something isn’t right. You say no because something isn’t feasible. You say no because something isn’t convenient. You say no because something is against your personal principles. Understand the difference between declining a request and rejecting a person.

6. Understand That Not Saying No When You Should Breeds Resentment

One reason you should learn to say no when that’s what is in your mind is because doing otherwise violates you. You feel oppressed if you are dealing with someone in authority and you feel manipulated if it’s a loved one.

Feelings of oppression and manipulation always lead to resentment. And, believe it or not, folks who allow deep seated resentment can find themselves doing things that they won’t be proud of (It’s their way of fighting back).

7. Understand That You Have A Right To Think Through Any Request Before Giving A Response

Some people say yes before they know the full implication of their response. If you find yourself making this mistake often, learn to defer your response. Insist on thinking it through before you give an answer. The good thing about this is that it makes you feel in control – and you are.

If you want to learn to say no then take your time to understand these things. Remember, you have just one life and you can’t live it to the fullest if you can’t say no when you should.

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About the Author

Get more help to say no more often and find out how you can politely say no to other people.

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