Article #754

Author: David Roppo

Are you one-half of a workaholic marriage? Have you wondered why you have drifted apart from your spouse? Have you felt like you don’t connect with your spouse anymore? Do you feel like you pass in the hallway of your home and as you are running out the door, you shout hello and goodbye to each other? Is your relationship with your spouse and children suffering?

Now, I am not going to tell you the obvious, that you need balance in your life. I truly believe you already recognize that, since you have taken the time to subscribe to this valuable report. The question is how do you achieve it?

First let me say that in order to accomplish this you must first understand the dynamics of men and women in a relationship. Lets take a look at this from a mans perspective. Men are taught from a very early age that they need to achieve. In other words, what kind of career they have, whether they are successful and what they grow up to be in life are of the utmost importance. Therefore, for most men to feel good about themselves they must achieve success in their career and finances. Western society places a tremendous burden on men to be labeled the bread winner in the family, even though many women are the primary bread winners in our society.

Think about it for a moment, most men think this is what they are supposed to be doing. They are trying to support their family and in their mind this is all that matters. They get caught up in this principal and develop tunnel vision. This is where the problem begins, because their mate views this as a lack of interest and focus on them or their family. From most men’s perspective, they don’t believe that they are doing anything wrong. Now from a woman’s perspective, they are taught from a very early age to give to their man and their family even if it is at the expense of themselves. However, for a woman to continue to give they need attention and fulfillment. When a woman receives the necessary attention and fulfillment she is happy and that happiness overflows to everyone around her. When she doesn’t she may begin to feel victimized and blame her mate for the problem.

When you understand the basic dynamics of men and women in a relationship, can you begin to see where the problems begin. A man is off working hard trying to support his family and spending less and less time at home. His mate views this as a lack of love and interest in her and the family. So, out of frustration she begins to complain to her man that he doesn’t spend any time with her anymore or is always working. She even attempts to try and change him or argue with him. This in turn only worsens the relationship because the man views this as an attack for working so hard to support his family. The relationship becomes more distant and the man begins spending even more time at work. He may even begin to resent his mate for her behavior and her for his. Does this sound familiar?

So how can you turn your relationship around? Well the first thing you can do is stop all of the arguing, complaining and criticizing. Want proof? Then stop this behavior and watch what happens! The moment you complain or criticize your partner becomes more wrong. . Do you know of anyone out there, that wants to be with a partner who constantly complains, argues and criticizes? I certainly don’t. Try switching gears and agree with them even if you still think their wrong. Show your mate some understanding and compassion for the burden they bare. The minute you agree with them they become less wrong. Remember, you can’t change someone. However, agree with them and watch them begin to change themselves. Don’t believe me! Try it for 30 days without telling your spouse anything about what your doing. Once they begin to respond take the initiative to schedule some quality time together. It doesn’t have to be anything that is terribly expensive at all. You may want to approach them in the sense that your making it all about them. In other words, tell them that you appreciate how hard they have been working and to show your appreciation you want to take them out for a romantic dinner or a getaway. However, a word of caution here, under no circumstances should you run off to plan a getaway until you’ve laid the preliminary groundwork. You must turn the tables first by agreeing with them and stopping all of the negative behavior. Give it a try; you may be pleasantly surprised at your spouse’s reaction!!!!

THREE THINGS YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW THAT MAY BE SABOTAGING THE HAPPINESS IN YOUR HOME LIFE!

1. Are you constantly telling your spouse that they work too much and aren’t spending enough time at home?

2. Are you attempting to change your mate by arguing and disagreeing with them?

3. Do feelings of being victimized leave you focusing your attention on negative thoughts?

If you answered yes to any of these questions please read on!

1. (S) Simplify. Your current circumstances have nothing to do with who you really are or what your true potential is. How often do you allow someone to distract you from what is really important in your life? So often we allow people to drain our mental energy with things that are not in align with what we really want? Re-evaluate what’s important to you and free up your mental energy for your personal or your home life.

2. (E) Effort. Creating a great life requires that you make some adjustments. It means re-evaluating how your time and energy is spent and re-aligning your thoughts. In other words; if your deep desire is to create happiness in your home or personal life then we must take the action required or put forth the effort to manifest this positive change in your life. To begin, start by examining your thoughts. Do you continue with the same patterns in your life because you think that’s just the way life should be? Remember, “So shall ye think so shall ye be”! Everything begins with a thought and I do mean everything! If you truly believe in your heart and your mind that there is more to life you will begin to move towards those goals. This is where the effort begins!!

3. (C) Create. A great life is the result of creating priorities. It’s easy to spend your days just responding to the next thing that gets your attention, instead of intentionally using your time, energy and focus to have the things in life that are important to you. Focus on removing the obstacles that get in the way of you making sure you are honoring your priorities. Unlock your true potential by unblocking the god given life force that flows through you. Power your goals, eliminate stress and spontaneously fulfill your desires. CREATE!!!

4. (R) Reserves. A great life is the result of having reserves – reserves of things, time, space, energy, love. When you have reserves in your life it means that you have a lot more than you need. Create a life full of reserves or abundance by following the universal law of attraction. Be generous to others with the very things you wish to attract in your life. The great paradox here is that the more you give the more you’ll receive. Now this does not necessarily mean being generous in a financial sense. Quite the contrary, it’s the smallest acts of generosity that will have the biggest impact. So, if you desire to have an incredibly loving and fulfilling home or personal life start being generous with your love and affection. When you meet someone that has a loving relationship and a fulfilling home life give them your blessing and find sheer happiness for them in your heart rather than resenting them for having something that has eluded you.

5. (E) Eliminate resentments. A great life is the result of eliminating resentments. Up to 75% of your mental energy can be tied up in things that are draining and distracting to you. Eliminating resentments can be a difficult concept to many people, since they believe that to do so would mean to forgive the wrong doing or the act that was committed against them. However, this is not at all the truth. Look around, who are you angry at? Is there a family member, friend, business acquaintance that you resent due to a wrong doing on their part? When we hold resentments towards others we only judge ourselves and we prevent our own happiness. To find out if you have any hidden resentments try this simple exercise; Close your eyes and picture the face of someone that you love unconditionally. Feel the love in your heart for this person. Next, picture someone that you like at this point but may not love unconditionally. Notice if you can feel the same love in your heart for this person. Next picture someone that you feel has committed some form of wrong doing towards you. Can you transfer the love to this person and feel unconditional love in your heart? If not, how are these resentments preventing your own happiness?

6. (T) Thoughts. Direct the only thing over which you have control! (Your thoughts) We try to control all kinds of areas of our lives only to set us up for stress and failure. Stop fighting life, and start setting up your life to support success and ease. Learn to let the universal abundance flow in and out of your life.

7. (S) Start. A great life is the result of starting. There’s the old saying everyone’s familiar with: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Even great ideas need to be set in motion! There’s no better time to start than today. Today, right now, is the right day to start to take a step in the direction of your hearts desires. What you do in the here and now will make a difference in your life tomorrow.

Best wishes,

David Roppo
Relationship Coach
Pittsburgh, PA (USA)

Subscribe to my free E-Guide and weekly E-Zine at….
www.visionquestlifecoaching.com

I can be reached at vquest_coach@yahoo.com or by phone Mon-Thurs from 9AM-9PM Eastern at 724-203-4575

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-7-little-known-secrets-of-an-ultimate-relationship-457768.html

About the Author

America’s Relationship Coach

Awakening the possibility in every Relationship!

David founded Relationship Rehab for Women in 2002, and set out on a quest to deliver real relationship information that people can put right to work…. to make a difference!