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Who Is Deciding How You Will React To Your Feelings?

Submitted by on July 4, 2012 – 12:00 amNo Comment

Author: John Halderman

Are your emotional reactions automatic or on purpose?

Are you frustrated with how you continue to react the same way every time a specific situation or feeling comes up? Have you desired less stress and anxiety in your life, and more pleasure and happiness?

If you had a choice, would you choose anger, resentment, fear, worry, and jealousy to be a consistent part of your life? More likely, I think you want more happiness, joy, fulfillment, understanding, and love to be present.

Well, you can choose, you can change yourself one small step at a time in all areas of your life if you choose to. Your personal growth is up to you; you can cease allowing your automatic reactions to guide your life.

You can react to your feelings any way that you want.


Just because you have reacted in a certain way does not mean you must continue to do so. You can actually change your reaction any time you choose.

We all react to the specific feelings that come up when something occurs. And how we react is based on how we perceive the occurrence. If you can change the way you perceive something, you change your reaction to it. And changing your reaction will alter the outcome of your feelings and actions.


The first thing is to just notice how you are reacting to a given feeling. This may seem difficult at first, as most likely you are accustomed to living on auto-pilot, allowing whatever thoughts come up, to rule the moment.

You can start by thinking about your reaction after the fact, then gradually as you become more aware of this, you will notice while you are reacting. After awhile, as you become more aware, you will find that you can easily notice your reactions right as they are coming up. Then you will be able to quickly analyze how you would prefer to react and do so.

This can take time, as your habitual reactions will want to slip in as they always have. With persistence and determination you can take command of your reactions.


Look at your personal values when deciding how you would rather react. What reaction would better serve the values you want to live by? How would you rather behave in certain situations? Could you reduce negative effects and increase the more desirable?

If your present reaction is one of anger, is anger what you want in your life, or would there be another reaction more in line with how you want to live your life? You can change much of what you experience in life by changing your perceptions


You can eliminate the experience and results of your anger if you choose not to allow anger to be a part of your reaction in a given situation. Getting command of your thinking and choosing to direct it how you want, will gradually bring more of what you want into your life. You will open yourself to a new life with every reaction you alter to more align with how you desire to be.

You don’t need to continuously be subject to undesirable automatic reactions that are not beneficial to you. Start noticing your reactions, and see them as something that can be changed. Determine what you DO want in your life. Search within yourself for what you DO want your life to include. What are your values, your purpose, and your mission?

“Our reactions to our feelings are our passport to rebirth.” – Ayya Khema, “Being Nobody, Going Nowhere”.

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About the Author

John Halderman is a writer, speaker and trainer, dedicated to helping people with getting real results with their personal development efforts. He supports strategies, methods, tools and information that actually bridge the gap between information and effective results. Go to for free information and newsletter.

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