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Home » Confidence Building, Featured, Headline, Motivation, Problem Solving, Self Esteem

Don’t Let A Fear Of Rejection Take Over Your Life

Submitted by on August 15, 2012 – 12:15 amNo Comment

Author: Royane Real

Do you enjoy getting rejected by other people? Of course not, nobody does. Everybody gets rejected at times, but each person reacts to rejection in their own way.

Some people get over rejection easily. They seem to shrug their shoulders, and say “Oh well, too bad”. And then they quickly move on with their lives. People who are self confident don’t wallow in pity or despair after a rejection. They don’t ask themselves, “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anybody like me?”

Other people however, take rejection very hard. Any time they are rejected by somebody, these people are devastated for a very long time. In fact, their fear of rejection is so strong that it keeps them from having a good social life. Because they fear rejection so much, they don’t make friends easily, and they rarely date. These people are afraid to approach others and ask them to join in some social event.

Having a strong fear of rejection can make life a nightmare of loneliness.

If you’re one of those people who has a strong fear of being rejected, you should know that there is hope for you. To get over a strong fear of rejection, you will need courage and commitment. You will have to remind yourself that your ultimate goal is to have a satisfying social life and emotional life.

Here are a few suggestions that may help you to deal with your fear of rejection:

Change the way you talk to yourself about rejection. Instead of telling yourself, “This proves that I am worthless and that nobody could ever like me”, speak in a positive way to yourself. “I give myself credit for having the courage to ask Sally out for coffee. Just because she said no to me, does not mean there is anything wrong with me. There could be many reasons why she turned me down, but my self respect only depends on what I think of me and not on what Sally might think of me.”

Make it a deliberate goal to collect many rejections from other people. Make it into a game and give yourself points for each rejection. By making it into a deliberate game, then rejection will stop having a negative effect on your emotions. You will be able to be rejected without triggering a lot of negative self talk.

Start off with a few short chats and move slowly to a twenty minute meeting over coffee.

Look for signs that the other person may be receptive to you. It’s easier to get a relationship going with someone who is already showing signs that they like you.

You should know however, that just because someone hasn’t shown signs that they like you, it doesn’t mean they really don’t like you. Many of the people who aren’t acting like they like you may actually be trying to hide their own signs of attraction because they are afraid that you might reject them!

If you try these tips above, they may help you start a new way of life where rejection won’t bother you as much as it did before. Simply reading about them won’t help, you have to actually implement them.

If your fear of rejection is extremely strong, and if it is mixed up with a lot of other difficult emotions such as depression, anxiety and poor self esteem, you may need more help than one article can give you. If you fear rejection very strongly, especially if you have experienced abuse or neglect in your past, you will be wise to seek help from a very good, caring therapist for this problem.

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About the Author

This article was written by Royane Real, author of the special report “How to Overcome Your Shyness and Your Fear of Rejection and Have the Friends and Lovers You’ve Always Wanted” If you want to improve your self esteem and your social life, download it today at

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