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How we Gain and Strengthen our Confidence

Submitted by on August 6, 2012 – 12:25 amNo Comment

by John Cane

Regardless of the topic I am teaching  for teens or adults, the issue of “confidence” always makes its way into the conversation; I may be asked outright, “How can I be more confident?” and/ or it’s obvious that there is resistance to the solution needed for individuals to move forward in their lives.

I was once in an acting class years ago where I worked with a woman doing a scene.  She said, “I know what I am supposed to do, but the hard part is applying it.”  You see that’s the rub.  Why is there a gap in applying what we know to be true and making it work to allow us to move forward in taking on challenges?

Well in part it has to do with our past experiences and how we have “tried” to accomplish things.  Did you notice above that I said, “Regardless of the topic I am teaching for teens or adults…” I didn’t say pre-teens?  I love having pre-teens in an acting class of teens and adults, because pre-teens take direction more quickly; they don’t question, they DO.  Sure they may be a little shy at first, but with a little encouragement, a little hope, a little confidence, a little courage, they DO IT.  They are great examples for the older participants to follow.

Sometimes people are resistant to change because they are too busy in their subconscious delusions, defending bad habits; this allows them to feel safe and protected from harm.  Of course “harm” is a personal thing; the level of hurt or injury each of us fears is gauged by the meaning it holds in us.  Pre-teens, for the most part haven’t developed these fears or insecurities.

So how do we conquer these mischievous fears?  Well what we need is a way to feel more sure of ourselves, a way to outweigh our fears.  We need an approach which guides us with certainty, a way to push those self defeating voices into silence.  We need to wear an armor of truth.

In acting, if you want to get something you have to have a strong strategy.  You must be passionate and focused to attain your goal.  However, you must have the necessary tools to do so.

The following is a list to use to strengthen your confidence.  These will provide you with the courage you need, the armor to protect you from fear.  Use them and you will experience a sense of safety and comfort in knowing you will follow through on what you need to do in your life.

How we Gain and Strengthen our Confidence

Be Flexible

Play—Don’t take things so seriously

Think Win-Win

Laugh at Yourself and the Situation

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Have Fun!

Plan Ahead and Have a Backup Plan

Remember you have achieved in the past!

Do things that make you happy

Be Passionate

Take on New Challenges and Adventures


Be Optimistic and Positive

Surround Yourself with Confident People

Connect to Others

Set Goals


About the Author

John Cane is a motivational speaker and writer who develops and implements confidence and self-esteem workshops in North Carolina, South Carolina, and New York. With a background in Psychology, John has six certifications in Personal Growth and Development.  His Journal Books, ‘Important Things I Remember from My Parents’ are used in schools and as an aid for adults in gaining strength in self identity in the United States and Europe.

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Leave us a suggestion for articles you would like to see. We will do our best to suit your needs! Did this information help? I hope so. Change can be difficult sometimes. Like I always say in my workshops, It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it because you’re worth it! Donations fund Self Esteem Workshops for teens, supply books to schools for the continual support of character education across America, and are tax deductable. Thank you from Self Help Guides!