Do Humans Seek and Create Meaning (Part 4)?
November 11, 2016 – 4:29 pm | No Comment

Article #918
It is through our perception and connection with all life that we can experience meaning and have a fulfilling life.

Read the full story »
Confidence Building

Articles to help you learn to build and keep genuine self confidence.


Articles that will help you motivate yourself and others.

Getting Organized

Articles that will help to organize and bring order to our chaotic lives.

Boosting Creativity

Articles and tips that will help you boost and improve your personal creativity.


Articles to help inspire you each and everyday.

Home » Confidence Building, Decision Making, Featured, Headline, Problem Solving, Self Esteem

Seeing or Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup When You Want Them Back

Submitted by on July 19, 2012 – 12:28 amNo Comment

Author: Anthony Malibu

Breaking up: it’s full of so many unwritten and unspoken rules. But what kind of rules govern seeing or running into your ex after the breakup? Do you act nice? Normal? Should you ignore your ex completely or try and actually talk to them?

Ultimately, it’s what you expect from your post-breakup relationship that determines how you should handle this type of contact. If you’re looking for a clean break and to walk away, being short and polite is probably your best bet. But if you’re still in love with your ex and want to win them back? Seeing them after the breakup can be a VERY stressful situation.

How To Talk To Your Ex When You Still Have Feelings For Them

Getting your ex back from an unwanted breakup can be a long road, with every step you take being of the utmost importance. Physically seeing or talking to your ex however, is one of the biggest things you’ll do. If you come off the wrong way or the conversation goes badly, it could quickly sabotage your chances for reconciliation.

On the flip side of things, a good meet-up with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend could easily put you back in their life again. By working your way back into their heart and mind, you could pave the way for eventually getting back together. Making sure you say the right things (and avoid saying the wrong ones) is extremely crucial. Understand which topics are strictly off limits, and how you should react to your ex once you see or speak to them again.

First Impressions – Confidence, Confidence, Confidence!

As hard as it will be to maintain composure, you MUST stay calm in the face of talking to your ex. Try to relax, and act as normal as possible around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It helps, imagine you never broke up with them at all, and that you’re just having a routine everyday conversation.

You never want to come off as anxious, nervous, needy or desperate when speaking to an ex. You certainly don’t want to pull any of that sorrowful pity-play either. Don’t lay guilt trips, and don’t try to squirm your way back into your ex’s life by making them feel sorry for you. None of this will work, and it will destroy any last ounce of respect your ex still has for you, making it nearly impossible to get back with them ever again.

Instead, remember that confidence is king. Try to imagine how it was when you first met your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and how you acted around them. Be cool and stay relaxed. Be funny, but not too funny. Be confident, but not overly so. When you exhibit the same traits you did when you first attracted your ex, they’re automatically going to be attracted to you a second time.

Avoid Talking About The Breakup

The subject of your breakup should be completely off limits when you see your ex for the first few times. By avoiding talking about the reasons for your split, you’re also avoiding placing blame, or making your ex uncomfortable. If you continue to press and talk about your past relationship’s problems, there’s a good chance your ex isn’t going to want to be around you very much.

Let Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Do Most of the Talking

In seeing your ex after the breakup, let them do as much of the talking as possible. Ask them about work, and how things have been at home or school. Ask about their family, and maybe their friends. These things will get your ex talking, and in an innocent yet pleasant type of way. He or she will start to feel comfortable around you, which will lead your ex to open up.

By not talking too much about yourself, you’re also giving your ex a reason to see or speak to you again. Your ex is probably curious as to what you’ve been up to since they broke up with you, and they might even ask you outright. If they do, try to be intentionally vague. Don’t give away too much all at once, and don’t let your ex know every little detail about your post-breakup life.

By leaving some things to his or her imagination, you’re allowing your ex to worry that maybe you’re moving on in your own direction. Maybe they can’t get you back after all, and maybe they need to make a quick move or two if they’re considering putting you back in their life.

Meeting Up With Your Ex For The First Time Since The Break

If your ex asks to meet you, it’s generally a good sign that he or she might want you back. At the very least, your ex has unresolved feelings that they’re trying to explore. Allow this to happen naturally, and above all else, don’t rush things. Take your time, and approach the meeting slowly.

When seeing your ex, try to suggest someplace that will be short and sweet. Coffee or lunch are both good ideas, as they allow the reunion date to take place quickly and end before things get awkward or you run out of things to say. In the beginning, you want to give your ex very small doses of yourself. By not giving away too much, and by ending the date relatively quickly, you’re always going to leave your ex wanting more of you.

Other Great Moves For Getting Back With Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

In the end, reversing your breakup is all about attitude. It’s also about getting your ex to want you back, and concentrating on ways to do just that. There are no-contact rules, withdrawal methods, and instant reconnection techniques that all have a time and place on the road to reconciliation. Make sure you know what each of these things are, and what phase of the breakup you might currently happen to be in.

Article Source:

About the Author

There are 6 Individual Steps necessary to Get Back Your Ex, so find out what they are! And for more information on fixing your breakup, check out Making Your Ex Want You Back.

Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.

Leave us a suggestion for articles you would like to see. We will do our best to suit your needs! Did this information help? I hope so. Change can be difficult sometimes. Like I always say in my workshops, It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it because you’re worth it! Donations fund Self Esteem Workshops for teens, supply books to schools for the continual support of character education across America, and are tax deductable. Thank you from Self Help Guides!